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by Teever
1495 days ago
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It's entirely possible to dance the tango on a minefield too. I question the cost benefit analysis of such a course of action however. Given two otherwise identical people, one narcissist and one not, which one would you pick for an interaction? Which one would you pick in a job interview? Which one would you pick to date? And that's the gist of it, if I don't have to, why would I ever interact with a narcissist again? To take a page from their book -- What's in it for me? |
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> To take a page from their book -- What's in it for me?
Not taking a page from their book (or being perceived to by others) is a pretty good reason actually... dividing people into categories based on initial pop-psychology analysis you've conducted of their visible traits to figure out whether they are deserving of further interactions with you is a pretty narcissistic trait itself. As is discounting all scenarios where anyone other than you has the power to act: a lot most people's regular interactions in life are with people others have chosen, and sometimes they actually have ability to help or even [independently of assumptions about their personality] actually deserve it themselves
People can be vain, volatile driven entirely by compliments and human beings... human beings that are helpful or funny even... sometimes more so because of their pathological need to impress. And even they're just boring boastful bullshitters with a sideline in snide remarks, if they're your friends friends and you're trying to exclude them, you're the one whose behaviour is going to be seen as more self-centred and toxic to the group.
Doesn't mean you have to date them, or trust them, and perfectly reasonable to avoid people whose extreme behaviour is dragging others down with them altogether (but lots of narcissists don't go that far, and lots of extremely destructive behaviour isn't narcissism). But there's plenty of value to learning to peacefully coexist with narcissists, unless you want to be the one perceieved as playing power games and dragging others down.