[maerF0x0]

> for any of life‘s problems

I understand it was hyperbole, but I would suggest one possible application of having and throwing everything you've got at raising children[1] to help with aimlessness/meaninglessness/purposelessness. Particularly when they're your own the common experience is your instinct/genome takes over and you'll find great imperative to do things you couldn't do for yourself. I learned about this concept from Jordan Peterson who also notes it works with pets[2]. For any bit of resentment about how the world has treated you, pouring yourself into someone else can at least give the solace that for them they will not suffer as much as you have, or at least not in the same insanity producing cyclical way as you had.

[1]: (technically can also be someone else's like foster, adopt, church, mentor, nephews/nieces) .

[2]: he talks about how people more frequently fill prescriptions for pets than for themselves.

[birdyrooster]

I know enough shitty parents to say this does not have a high rate of success in changing people for the better, but I will leave it to Jordan Peterson, he seems like a real expert type.

[jokethrowaway]

A lot of people nowadays lack responsibility.

Society keeps encouraging a lifestyle with less and less responsibility.

The government takes care of you (until you start bringing in profits), your employer takes care of you (with no raises). Everything seems engineered to coddle people without making them realise what they're missing. I feel most people are basically unaware cattle, happy to stay in their comfort zone and to keep producing what they tell them to.

Sexual promiscuity is cool, relationships don't last, having kids is a suicide, you're a victim.

A lot of the shitty parents have way deeper problems than this. The ones doing ok are probably glad they get to use their judice and they enjoy the freedom that comes with responsibility (without forgetting the obligations).

[maerF0x0]

I've heard a hypothesis in the past (cannot recall the data) that people who put themselves under financial responsibility (eg through debt, virtuous or vice) often are pressed into earning more. That is it seems the mechanism might be you get stressed about paying your bills so you pursue a life of higher income. People might become wealthier as home owners not because of the wealth the home generates but because of the consistent act of building a little wealth month by month for 25 years, and for want of a bit more disposable income they chase a promotion, raise, or more valuable skills.

I believe there is a similar function in marriages, parenting, and other relationships -- the act of working through challenges makes you a "better" person at least in the regards of perspective, negotiation, less selfishness etc.

Of course, like basically everything in every discussion, there are exceptions but lets not focus on those because it makes it difficult to talk about anything save for physical laws.

[Tao332]

> For any bit of resentment about how the world has treated you, pouring yourself into someone else can at least give the solace that for them they will not suffer as much as you have

Personally, I'm shocked at how just having kids has healed a lot of my held resentment. I used to look back at moments in my life that I wished had gone differently. Now I see that if you gave me a time machine and the chance to go back and change how I responded, I can't do it because I'd be erasing my kids.

I wouldn't even be able to stop the covid pandemic, selfish as that may be.