[teekert]

Absolutely agree with this, but particularly that last sentence. I'm now 40 and I have the feeling that just this last year I'm sort of starting to understand what work really makes me happy and I'm also finally in the position that I feel like I'm valuable enough to just say no to boring work I consider not worth my effort. I can finally focus (mostly) on work that I really like, and it even looks like people around me appreciate this. Also, importantly, this type of work exists at my current employer.

It took a long time, and I went through years of staying with the same job, having highs and lows and thinking and reflecting, with a coach sometimes (I was lucky that one of the jobs had a coach for every employee) on work and the way it makes me feel, what I'm good at, and how that may be because of how I was raised, or the role I had to take or took in my family.

You are good at some things because you did them a lot. Sometimes those things match with what makes you feel good, sometimes they are that nagging thing you couldn't name but carried with you your whole life. I.e. I'm considered social, social glue, someone who gets a group to get along. But it costs me an inordinate amount of energy and I just now am learning the benefits of respectfully guarding your own interests, I feel just like the writer of this assay: [0]. Still growing up at 40.

[0]: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30906621