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To break the fear-avoidance cycle, you have to stop the avoidance, and purposefully push yourself in the opposite direction (exposure). It won’t feel good - your anxiety will increase. Your brain will make up a thousand reasons why you’re doing something wrong/dangerous. You have to persist, expect and tolerate the spike in anxiety, and allow your brain to acclimate to a fear. Then, that fear goes away. ALL fear works this way. It doesn’t matter what you’re afraid of or what mechanism you’re using to avoid the fear (pure avoidance, procrastination, compulsive behaviors, reassurance seeking, whatever.) You don’t face it all at once. You start small, by facing something head-on where your fear is maybe a 4/10. To give a concrete example: if you’re afraid of studying for a minor test because you might fail, then spend some time acknowledging the fact that yes, you might fail. You might get a lower score than you hoped. You might have to repeat the course. Maybe. Perhaps you write it down on a piece of paper next to your study materials: “I’m going to do a reasonable job studying for this test, but I know there is a chance I could fail. If I fail, then I will have to assess my options at that time. Till then, I’m going to give it a solid effort and see what happens.” Your fear will rise, but if you stick with it, it will eventually fall. You will know what it feels like to have conquered a fear. In time, you will learn to have this process be your default coping strategy instead of avoidance. Then, you will not live your life dictated by fear, and in time, your overall anxiety will decrease to a healthy level. This process works very repeatably for a very wide range of people. But it’s much easier to describe than it is to do. Your brain doesn’t want you to face your fears, because your brain thinks you are in danger. So your anxiety will not go down without a fight. But it’s a fight you can win! I strongly recommend using a CBT therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders. I would also recommend looking for a therapist who is experienced in treating OCD. I recommend this because the treatment for OCD really works for any anxiety, but the inverse is not true. So seeing a provider with OCD expertise covers your bases. |