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I suggest getting a therapist at the minimum. If clinical anxiety is the root cause or catalyst, then a psychiatrist could help get over that hill. I also suggest taking the Enneagram test. Understanding your personality at both its best and worst can give you insight on how you got there and how to stay or leave there, respectively. In the short term, try to understand that fear of failure is basically fearing the inevitable, since you will fail at many points in life, but fear will actually increase the probability and impact of failure. At the same time, failure is somewhat meaningless unless it affects your health or life (like failing to free solo a cliff). Time keeps ticking and the "moment of failure" passes without a blip. I have been taught at times that any done project is a good project, no matter how small. So in many ways, you have got to just jump in and do something, no matter how small. Then those small things will start building on each other. For your assignments, address what you need to get started and then you just gotta do it. Don't let anxiety take over once you do start. You won't finish the assignment in the first minute. It will take time. In the future, start earlier. When you start earlier the repercussions of failure are much smaller, and it doesn't loom over you. You have time, you can ask questions, you can take a break and think about it, you can do hobbies, see friends, etc. As you procrastinate, all these strategies are thrown out the window. Talk to someone. If you're stressed out, ask for help. Speak to the instructor or whoever is managing the assignments or tasks. Don't try to solve every problem (any problem in life) all on your own. To get you going, I'd almost suggest this as your first tactic. Go talk to whoever this assignment is due to and be honest with them. You got started late due to whatever (it doesn't matter) and you're stressed out, but you want to do well and get back ahead of things. Ask for help on getting started. Any reasonable person will respond well to someone telling them they're stressed but want to do what they can to work on what they need to. If they're not helpful, ask a fellow classmate. And don't underestimate the experience and helpfulness that a psychiatrist and psychologist (therapist) can provide to you. It can be a very effective method to address these things. They are not just for scary psychological disorders, but left unchecked, depression and anxiety can become scary. |
Your comment is the only take on failure that spoke to me. For a while I try to find something about failure, but everything I've read-heard didn't spoke to me.
Your comment also made me realize that, at least for me, there are two types of failure: Life/health failure and failure of ego. I live in this state for so long that I cant differentiate the two (with the exception of imminent harm or death)