[pc86]

I nearly failed out of college because of this. I would have a paper due in n days, and would absolutely refuse to do it, in hindsight because I didn't want to spend weeks working on it just to get a D (who does?). I would literally get to ~24 hours before due date and have a 20 page paper to write with zero done. No reading, no research, I'd be lucky to even have a topic. I'd then regurgitate some garbage that barely met the requirements (if it even did), get the D anyway, and justify it by the fact that I "passed" and saved all that time. In retrospect, over a decade later, I was just terrified of trying and failing, so took solace in not trying and failing.

[ghostbrainalpha]

I'm just like you but a little worse. I did fail out of college because of exactly that. I felt such shame at having done D work that I often wouldn't even turn it in, and then get the F.

I struggled for years after dropping out with this, and still do to some extent. But came up with a crazy strategy to kind of get myself addicted to completing tasks on my To Do list. I think today I'm probably significantly more productive than the average person, but I never would have got to this level without going through years of pain and life destroying habits.

[pc86]

Would you be willing to share your strategy?

There were a couple times where I just didn't turn something in, even if it was half done. I'm in my late 30's now and still struggle with motivation. I'll go back and forth between 8-10 hours of heads down coding in a day to maybe 30 minutes. I don't think it's burnout because I honestly can't even tell what kind of day it's going to be until it's half over.

[fuzzylightbulb]

I'd also be interested to hear your strategy!