[smoldesu]

You're also missing the other side of that coin: that's not my problem. I don't care how you're coping with getting things configured or set up correctly, I sure as shit don't care if people aren't getting it working on their box, and I definitely don't care about how "other people" view Linux. Why should I be afraid of anecdotal desktop Linux failures if it works fine for me?

Linux is not a desktop operating system. By default, it has no audio configuration. Distros package whatever software is considered "current" at the date of their LTS cutoff; Ubuntu is one of them. Ubuntu is using outdated software, and will be stuck that way for a couple years. Currently, Linux audio is fine. You're the one using broken software and blaming others.