[pie42000]

"Just because a parent wants their child to be able to play the piano with great skill doesn't mean they'll take to it"

And yet the beast, vast majority of kids who were forced to learn to play a musical instrument are grateful that their parents forced them to do it, even if they do not "take to it" i.e. 99.9% of kids. The ones who didn't get forced to learn an instrument regret missing out.

As a parent you are building a human being in your child. You can force them to play sports, play instruments, travel, go to museums, and study hard and learn useful skills. When they are 15 they will complain and wish you would be easier on them. When they are 30, they will thank you and pass on these gifts to their children.

If you let your kids laze around and do whatever, they will ignore you when they are 15, and wish they had stricter parents that forced them to do more things growing up when they are 30.

Obviously there is a balance and a right amount to push kids, but like most things in life, it's better to do too much than too little.

[hnfong]

Where did you pull that 99.9% number out of?

Perhaps 90+% tolerated it because at least it wasn't inherently a horrible experience to go through, but actively grateful? I for one would prefer spending those man-months of my childhood on things that interest me more...

[LordDragonfang]

I'm pushing 30. I took piano at a very young age and recall being quite happy to do so, though I had to be forced to practice. I voluntarily returned to it in my teens, and again in college. I sometimes wish I had put even more into it.

Conversely, I was forced to do many team sports as a child, despite never having an affinity for them, and even today have no love for them or those memories, and consider most of that to be wasted time. (And again conversely, the physical activities that I chose of my own volition - biking, roller blading, and the like - are things I wish I made more time for in my adult life)

Children, especially teens, aren't just grubs that you have to impose your will onto. They know things that they want, and you should channel them into productive things they actually want to do.

[tetraca]

> If you let your kids laze around and do whatever, they will ignore you when they are 15, and wish they had stricter parents that forced them to do more things growing up when they are 30.

This doesn't resonate with me at all. As a child and teenager I had freedom to effectively pursue whatever I wanted to pursue. I played guitar because I wanted to play guitar. I programmed because I wanted to program. I drew art because I wanted to draw art. I never took lessons I never wanted, nor went to boy scouts, nor pursued organized sports, and all I feel is I was lucky that I had parents that let me dodge those bullets. I also generally did not disobey or ignore my parents because I thought they were reasonable people that told me I should do reasonable things. If they told me, "Clean your room" I might think that an unpleasant activity but I couldn't really dispute that it was good to do even at the time, so I just did it.

My parents forced me do very few things, but I can't think of a major forced activity that didn't feel like wasted time that actively made my life worse. For instance, a terrible cabin trip I never wanted to go on didn't actually help me build character; it just soured me on the outdoors for years.

[dangerface]

My parents forced me to do dumb stuff always justifying it solely with you will thank me when you are older. It built up resentment in me that my parents thought I would just sit around doing nothing without them standing over my shoulder criticising and controlling me.

At 34 I paid my own way through life and have nothing to thank them for but wasting my youth. I don't do any of the things they forced me too it was all a waste of time and I still resent them because they never learned, they still think this whole internet thing is a fad and that some day I will thank them, we don't talk much.

[dusted]

> If you let your kids laze around and do whatever, they will ignore you when they are 15, and wish they had stricter parents that forced them to do more things growing up when they are 30.

Nah, I'm going to argue that the tendency to laze around, given other viable options, is a personality trait.

Most kids will do stuff they find interesting, given the opportunity to do so.. It's only adults who have had their will to live beaten out of them that laze around-