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by photojosh 1513 days ago
hirvi, this is brilliant and so relateable, so thank you. Mine are very similar, but I would add with respect to your points...

1. Yes, but I also have to know that I am the one in charge... otherwise I will not take charge, but I will be ready to be told exactly what to do, and THAT I will do very quickly. [see A below]

2. Also yes, and true for software development too, but it makes the long burn so difficult. Give me a fire to put out! I casually know an ER doctor who is highly regarded, but his personal life is a mess and he's into extreme sports. (And saw my son when he came in with a suspected neck fracture.)

3. Again, yes. Once a solution has been found, I'm done! Implementing it? Naaah... that's the boring stuff.

4. Sort of... I think due to personality and temperament yes, but also upbringing.

Two more points building on those.

Autism and adhd have a high co-morbidity. If someone has social skills to the point where others comment on how good they are; highly unlikely that's you. If the idea that you "intellectualise social interaction" rings a bell, it might be the case.

Sensitivity issues. This is a reason behind my addition to point 1 above. The most mild of corrections comes across as an accusation that one is am totally worthless and useless. A constant running inner critic devaluing every thought and action. My experience is that this is silenced or at least turned down by medicating with stimulants... and it is totally liberating.

2 comments

Thank you, and I greatly appreciate your comment as well.

1. I can sympathize.

2. I am software engineer that has and currently played various extreme sports, so there is probably a strong correlation lol.

3. I don't have enough bandwidth to implement thing sometimes when the RAM is maxed out and I do not have any Swap Space.

4. Makes sense. My family was predominantly in the medical field and they constantly would have to talk with lonely and/or bored patients all the time. So, you are probably on to something.

> "intellectualise social interaction" rings a bell

I tried to search for what this meant, but I found a few differing ideas that I didn't know which one to attribute to what you meant. Do you mind elaborating?

I do tend to talk fast and talk a lot. It used to get me in a lot of trouble in school growing up because I would basically talk non-stop (wasn't diagnosed or treated during those times). I still talk a lot, but I have grown out of a lot of it.

I have sound sensitivity issues like misphonia and I hate going to concerts despite being a musician at one time due to how painful I find the volume. If I go, I have to wear earplugs or I find it physically painful to be a setting that loud. Same thing with small engine devices like chainsaws and other machinery.

I do not think I have co-morbid Autism, but if I do not, then I probably missed a good chance -- then again, there is probably symptom overlaps between the two.

3. Yes, that too. It becomes burn-out at the worst.

>> "intellectualise social interaction" rings a bell

> I tried to search for what this meant, but I found a few differing ideas that I didn't know which one to attribute to what you meant. Do you mind elaborating?

That was the goal behind me asking... if it did ring a bell; I think you'd know! I pre-plan social interactions, they inevitably never go as planned, then I spend forever ruminating on what I did wrong. Rinse, repeat.

To your concluding paragraph, I think a way to join back up these disparate threads is a reminder that ADHD and autism are both non-binary, spectrum conditions... they're labels slapped on a grab bag of manifested difference->disorder->disability symptoms, hence diagnostic criteria that are: "has to have 5 out of 8 of these factors".

Thanks for your examples, a lot of that really hits home, especially the stimulants. I have been trying to figure out why I can't quite function without caffeine, not in a get a headache and feel sleepy sort of way, but that without it I feel really listless and almost depressed.