[reverend_gonzo]

Sounds like a forever aloner.

I know multiple tall, classically good looking men who, while they can can get dates, can not maintain them because they have zero relationship skills, and I know just as many short men who have a relationship whenever they want.

While height might be an early filter, it is by no means the only source of attraction. Men would do well to build the rest of their personalities to stand themselves out rather than complain about something they have no control over.

[aortega]

>Sounds like a forever aloner.

This social disqualification is the reason the truth remains hidden. I'm only 5'9 and have a family, but this was way before social networks and online dating. The world is different now.

>I know

Yes I know many data points that fall outside the curve too. But I'm talking about the curve.

[reverend_gonzo]

I’m 5’8”, Asian, married to an American, and have a family, and I got all this after social networks and tinder, et al came along.

[nosianu]

Funny. After the parent commenter says

> Yes I know many data points that fall outside the curve too. But I'm talking about the curve.

you respond with a data sample of 1.

I have no idea who is right - assuming country=US in any case, since most of the data and experiences are from there - but come on.

[reverend_gonzo]

> Basically this means that in modern dating, if you are short, you are very likely to die alone and this trend will only get worse in the future.

This is his claim. I call bullshit.

[Jensson]

The other great factor for dating success for men is income. You can offset being short by earning a lot of money. Since you are here on HN I assume you earn way more than average Americans.

Each inch of height corresponds to about $25k of yearly income on the attractiveness scale. Do the math, are you still below average? Note that income isn't just what you earn, but what you can be expected to earn in the future, so even if you met a woman as a bright computer science student you would still expect to earn a lot of money.

http://home.uchicago.edu/~hortacsu/onlinedating.pdf

[aortega]

It's the same as saying 'You can offset being short by being a rock star' yes, I suppose you could.

[FooBarWidget]

Well ok but all the relationship skills in the world can't help you if you can't get past that initial filter.

[withinboredom]

Confidence gets you past any initial filter (not to be confused with arrogance or assertiveness — be respectful).

Once you get serious, it’s the bigger filters you need to worry about IME.

My then new girlfriend’s friend asked me out of nowhere: “what’s a derivative?” And my answer was “investing or calculus?” Apparently that was a filter for my wife when she dated. She wanted smart men who weren’t just faking it, wouldn’t just start talking about things because they knew something about it, etc. Her and her friend had that simple question. I was basically the first guy to pass it. Hell, I even had some basic filters, like going on a road trip together. Eventually, got married, made babies, and travel around the world. I got lucky — met her semi-randomly on the beach through mutual friends. Neither one of us were looking for a relationship at the time.

</anecdata>

[fredophile]

If you're meeting online, which is very common, you can get filtered out well before the first time you meet and can show off your confidence.

[rayiner]

> Apparently that was a filter for my wife when she dated.

What a keeper! My wife randomly invoked Coase theorem the other day while we were chatting on our commute home. Coming up on ten years now. :)

[tptacek]

Congrats!

[rayiner]

Why thank you!

[zeven7]

I would be turned off by that filter, but then maybe your wife's not for me.

[guskel]

Confidence won’t help if you aren’t meeting the other party’s attractiveness threshold.

[scythe]

>Men would do well to build the rest of their personalities to stand themselves out rather than complain about something they have no control over.

Are you saying that he's missing out on lots of opportunities for self-improvement in the two minutes or less it took to write that comment? It's not wrong for people to complain about things that negatively affect them, and it's not mutually exclusive with trying to fix the problem. There is really no justification for the insistence that short men must not complain at all.

[guskel]

Yes, there’s this kind of hidden assumption that these men aren’t trying, that they haven’t done every obvious thing already.

[reverend_gonzo]

If you are complaining about anything, then yes, that energy is better spent elsewhere.

[scythe]

>If you are complaining about anything, then yes, that energy is better spent elsewhere.

This is a remarkably unhealthy attitude, and callous to boot.

[ss108]

? Seems like a generally healthy attitude to me, though that poster may be taking it to an extreme.