[geocrasher]

Reading this story, as long as it is, was quite interesting to me. I've been on the other end of the lies. As a young person, ranging from middle school to early 20's, I was repeatedly duped by people who lied to me over and over again, making up fantastic stories that were tailored to my interests and gullibility. They used these lies to gain my friendship, to control my actions to get what they wanted, or to in one case, try to dupe me into marriage (not kidding).

Yeah, I was super naïve.

But then I read about some of the people affected by Mr. Clark and his lies, and realized that maybe I was a little less culpable in allowing myself to be deceived so much. Just as they wanted to believe him because "why would he lie?" I had reason for wanting to believe, too.

Growing up, I had an aunt who was only a few years older than I who constructed huge fables at every opportunity. She always portrayed herself as either the heroine, the victim, or the Cool Kid. The people around me accepted them, and it wasn't until much later in life that I realized she was absolutely and completely full of crap, a narcissist of the worst kind. But because of my family not confronting her constant lies and embellished stories, I was primed to accept any fantastic story as truth. And... I just now realized this while I was typing. Man. That sure explains a lot.

[gilgoomesh]

Family members don’t call out narcissists as a polite way of moving past it. They don’t want to fight every 5 minutes.

I’m sorry that gave you the wrong impression.

[bombcar]

One of the duties of parents is to call out bullshit privately for their children so they can also learn the distinction.

[freedomben]

I don't necessarily disagree, but as a parent you have to be careful what you say to your kids because (particularly when young) they are prone to repeat it to the worst people at the worst possible time.

If my sister was constantly making up fantastic stories and I told my kids privately that she was lying, I'd be better off saying it to her face because when my kids tell her (or someone else in the family) what I said, it will be a disaster and the kids will end up in the middle of it. At least a direct confrontation keeps the kids out of it. But, it better be worth tearing the family apart because that is what would happen.

[bombcar]

Yeah as with many things involving kids it depends on knowing when the kids are ready to understand - perhaps going from exaggerating to stories to lying to absolutely full of shit.

[sonofhans]

Wow, that’s a hell of a story; I’m sorry. Since you’re in a moment of realization: the word for what your aunt did is “gaslighting,” and it can cause lasting trauma. You’re right that, like other forms of abuse, when done as a child it makes one more susceptible to it as an adult.

[stavros]

Gaslighting refers very specifically to presenting a false narrative to cause someone to doubt their perception. His aunt didn't try to make him doubt his own senses, she was just lying.