[aikiplayer]

I think you can actually flip this situation around a little bit. You've now learned about a couple of things that are really important to you:

- You're ready to move on from being an IC - You want to help or mentor others

There's no way to know how any given decision is going to turn out. There are some that are obvious but usually you won't know until to make a choice and live it for a bit.

You seem to have the ability to pivot - you've done it twice in 2 years. So now that you know the direction you want to go, you can either work with your management towards that path or you can seek out another opportunity that aligns with your current goals / desires.

You're not incredibly stupid nor are you necessarily a bad decision maker. You took a shot and it didn't work out. A lot of folks get stuck and never make a decision because they're worried it won't turn out. You had the guts to pick a path and, while it didn't work out, you've remained employed, broadened your experience base and learned more about what you want to do now. I applaud you for taking the shot!

In terms of professional help, possibly a mentor or career coach.

(FWIW - I did something similar about 18 months ago and am now pivoting back into a leadership role because I've discovered I miss it as well)