[wolverine876]

> I’m also a serious adult. I don’t joke around with my friends like I did in my youth. My hangout sessions with friends are all calendared weeks/months ahead. I have friends, we joke, but it’s different and not side splitting type jokes; more like chuckles.

I see adults do that, but I don't understand it. To me, 'serious' means having consequential responsibilities, prioritizing them, and reliably delivering on them. That doesn't rule out side-splitting laughs when it doesn't interfere with the responsibilities, does it?

[conductr]

> I see adults do that, but I don't understand it

If this implies you are not yet an adult or a young adult, it may also explain why you do not understand it (no offense meant just pointing out it may be a lack of perspective).

I suppose I mean "serious" as in my demeanor and general attitude is mostly tied up in those things like responsibilities and the deadlines and conversing about business, world events, catching up, etc instead of all the free time, lack of responsibility, and ensuing shenanigan's that comes with youth [my youth]. As you age you slowly accrue more and more "responsibility" such that it's difficult to even get in the right headspace, company, and context that would even present a side-splitting laugh situation. It's not that I was overly stoic. I laughed, hard even, but not where I couldn't breath or I was literally rolling on the floor.

It's not that I somehow lost the ability but it's like if you stop working out because the new job is too busy or you are spending all your free time caring for a household/relative. Your health probably doesn't decline a ton in the initial months or even year. But fast forward 10 years and you find that not only did you not work out, but you also let your diet slip, and maybe accrued some weight. Sure you can visit the gym, you didn't forget how to work out, but you lost the habit and you have to work a bit harder to get back what you once had.

[wolverine876]

I see what you mean now and I've been there. FWIW, blocking out a little time for myself daily - e.g., early in the morning - has transformed me. Just a little time where I am the highest priority (obviously not true in extreme circumstances, but I mean have the discipline and seriousness to make it true 99% of the time) has made an enormous difference in my productivity and my ability to be close to loved ones. The loved ones are especially happy with the results.

Also, with the demands of time, I (mostly) cut out unhealthy coping and relaxation and replaced it with healthy things I love - e.g., someone might cut out drinking and replace it with bicycle riding, if they like it. I define 'unhealthy' by asking, 'will I feel better when I'm done with this activity than when I started?' It took awhile to find healthy activities I love, but that was just a matter of exploring options, which was healthy and enjoyable itself. There's just no time for the unhealthy stuff.

Finally, I felt I wasn't cognitively as flexible as I used to be, and I watched what flexible young people do (and studied other sources), and made sure that 'me time', and other activities when possible, includes exploration - following my nose or my passion, without a defined destination. That also has made an enormous difference.

Others' mileage will vary, but I hope that helps someone!

[hluska]

I like to laugh and still share side-splitting laughs with my friends, but I understand their point. There’s an entirely different level of laughter where my child is involved. She’s six now so I’m used to it but when she was little, I could truthfully say that I had never laughed so hard in my entire life. That’s not quite true - I have laughed that hard but the emotional side of parenting makes everything into a superlative.