[_7gt4]

I'm sure the amount of stress I've been exposed to from being yelled at by my physician "that i need to change or die young" at my diagnosis is pretty on par with this decreased life expectancy.

Not to mention I now have a general dislike for doctors and avoid them as much as possible, because inevitably everything I'd complain about would be blamed on excess weight or trans broken arm.

Love to see how empathetic doctors affect life expectancy. I'd assume quite a lot.

[krageon]

In their defense, if you're very fat that's probably going to cause most of your issues. Perhaps after a while repeatedly diagnosing things with the same root cause is going to frustrate your doctor as well.

How about a little empathy for them? No need to lose weight, but also no need to bother them with it then. Which is essentially what you're doing, a net win for everyone :)

[_7gt4]

They call it "trans broken arm syndrome" because this shit includes things that are obviously NOT hormone/obesity related. Things anyone else would get an immediate MRI for.

Exactly the kind of thoughtless answer that presumes I'm just angry about being told the hard truth or something I needed.

Being obese does NOT IN FACT lower your risk of every disease (except apparently heart failure?) that is not caused by obesity. Obese people need doctors for non-obesity related issues too.

[krageon]

I asked you to try to think about it from your doctor's point of view and you just repeated that they're not doing what you want them to do. Yes, they probably made mistakes due to their own emotional state.

Responding to this from an entirely egocentric place is just going to make the problem worse. Why not approach such things with compassion; at least you may get somewhere with this person. It is hard to make diverse friends if you cannot do so.

[_7gt4]

Your comment makes no sense to me.

Failing to treat me is a professional failing with severe adverse effects for me. And it's entirely based on the judgemental assholeness of such doctors. If you can't stop blaming people for their conditions, find another job. I'm not my GPs therapist.

Also, they've been dead for close to a decade.

[rowanG077]

I mean being obese affects so much of your body negatively that it's almost certain that fixing that will fix many of your underlying issues even if they don't appear to be because of obesity.

[refurb]

Well I’m sure once you’ve seen enough type II diabetics with chronic sores on their feet, bone infections, amputations, diabetic retinopathy, it can be hard not to warn people of the consequences of obesity.

[_7gt4]

Warning is fine.

Cursing at me and telling me I will literally die in 10 years (I survived the guy by at least 10 years by now) and assuming the shock from that will get lazy me off the couch or something just put me into an extremely anxious state loop that didn't help me whatsoever. I didn't need to be told to eat less, I needed any coping mechanism that wasn't overeating. And I needed coping mechanisms a lot back then, the anxiety just contributed to that. I went through life for almost a decade just accepting my imminent death because I couldn't fix it.

[snarf21]

It sounds like you are maybe eating as a stress reaction. I think a therapist might be a better healthcare professional to help you than a GP. They can then also ascertain if you need to be referred to a psychologist so that you can get the proper medication to help with your anxiety related conditions.

[refurb]

It sounds like the delivery could have improve, but the message was right.

[_7gt4]

The problem is with attribution of the problem to you directly.

People almost universally know that severe obesity is bad for them. You don't need to tell them.

There are many reasons people are obese. For me it was mostly a psychological issue. Doctors need better training in this regard, because telling someone to stop being lazy and eat well will almost never lead to them to improvement. Dieting, in the long term, it almost universally a failure. It just doesn't work. It doesn't address the right issues.

Yet, for doctors and those unaffected it seems like such a trivial thing that any deviation seems self-inflicted. They must be doing it willingly. They must be shamed. But it is never is that simple.

It is an attitude they constantly carry into conversations with patients. They need to take that attitude and throw it into the trash, because all it does is make the patient feel horrible about the lack of control they have over their condition that they supposedly should have, according to their doctor.

[djmips]

IKR? Like they can't get past that one thing. I think it even blinds them to help you with other things. Like they'll probably miss a cancer diagnosis.

[_7gt4]

Hah, yeah. I had a big AFH tumor on my hand. "Probably ganglion". Thankfully these things rarely turn into full blown cancer and I got someone to take it serious (but only after it started necrotizing) before it did.