[dizzydiz]

For me, your first definition is meditation itself. I’ve always considered mindfulness as being engrossed in something without distracting thoughts.

When I’m “lost” in programming or conversation, I feel I’m doing it right :)

[desertraven]

Thanks for your response!

In the case of conversation, I feel as though being lost is counter to a equanimous and relaxed conversation. For example, I may disagree with with the other party, and become overbearing. Or I may feel uncomfortable, a mind racing, and unable to relax into a conversation. These I recognise in hindsight, but not in the moment.

Programming may be harder to articulate, perhaps posture is analogous? Maintaining good posture while being lost in programming. Or being mindful of my shortcomings as a programmer while typing.

Though being “lost” in an activity does resonate with me, and appear as a positive. So I wonder if there are different strains of “lostness”. Some helpful, and others not.

A man lost in a moment of road rage is surely not doing right. Nor is one who neglects or doesn’t value the needs of a loved one in the moment.

How do you view these different forms of being lost?

[NickRandom]

If I may answer?

>>In the conversation...<< That is understandable. I often feel the same worry/desire/hindsight. A therapist suggested that doing some gentle mental self-reassurance / self affirmation exercises beforehand would help. (Which for me it does - but only sometimes)

>>Programming..<< Silent timers as suggested elsewhere for that. I.e. it's time to check-in on myself. They don't work well for me but seem to work well for a lot of other people. Currently I am trying to associate a real world ‘what time is it?’ with also doing a self check-in.

>>A man lost..<< I am slowly becoming able to spot those moments and 'shift up a gear' to do a mental check-in (STOP + HALT techniques). Learning how to do this so that it becomes an instinctive/automatic response is hard and I stumble more often than I manage to walk but the fact that I can at times manage it demonstrates to me that it is possible to do and also that if I remember to send a mentally self generated ‘dopamine hit’ immediately when the ‘take a deep breath first’ instinct kicks in then the neurons that fire together will wire together. Regarding the ‘regret’ aspects – true; but you are also human. A heartfelt apology and explanation is the best (least worst?) way of dealing with those.