[sniperjoe360]

I hear you friend, you've been to the highest of highs and lowest of lows and now are like a surfer back on dry land thinking of the last big wave, or a soldier back from war wandering around a flower garden. The cognitive dissonance of your otherwise great life with the life you thought you would be living makes every moment unenjoyable and meaningless.

As someone in healthcare who takes care of depression, the pills, TMS, and ketamine are not meant to cure depression. They are meant to decrease the risk of impulsivity, improve function, and decrease suicide.

To get out of depression, you have to find meaning again in the life you were given, and then faithfully follow that which gives you meaning so that you do not become lost again.

Religion is perhaps mankinds best answer because many philosophers who thought about these very questions of meaning were religious thinkers. Ecclesiastes is a great book to read.