[marcoi]

It looks like you're a developer (your site says UI/UX, Web, Flash). If that's the case, it sounds like you're in the wrong place (and hanging around very wrong people). I am in London, and I hear from the manager of Stack Overflow for this region that the ratio is 3 jobs per developer. People here are desperate for developers. I take you may not be able to move easily one of the hotspots for now (not sure where you're based), but hopefully you can look for jobs (and a more positive environment) somewhere else. It sounds like a stable job would be good for you these days. If that's not an option, you may try some of the freelancing sites, like elance, guru, freelancer, odesk, etc. I hear they work well. Or some site more tailored to designers, if you do that too. Either way, you took a risk, at the moment it feels like it didn't work, that may seem different in the future... but none of that matters. What matters is what you're doing next. You'll look back and feel that you've learnt a lot from this phase in your life.