[mensetmanusman]

Here is one strategy that I enjoy:

Start a notes checklist on your phone of what you could have done to prevent the situation in the first place.

It will grow to probably over 40-50 things over the course of two months. And you will start to realize as you read the list the types of themes that are upsetting and stressful to her.

This has helped but your mileage may vary, it is illuminating though…

[the_omegist]

Wait. He is saying her demands are neverending and you advise him to keep a list of his failures to guess them ?

[mensetmanusman]

It’s not a list of failures, but a list of ideals, e.g. if she gets mad about tripping over your towel, you might write:

-always hang up towel after use

A relationship is like building a house, you can build one with out a ruler, but it will probably be more stable if you use a rule®.

These ideas/rules aren’t all equally important, but they provide a rule for straightening out or constructing a more stable house.

Note: this is related to a whole topic of life satisfaction and rules :)

[the_omegist]

Thanks for the clarification...but you qualifying her demands as "ideals" clearly shows you're taking one of them as being perfect and always-right and the other as needing to be re-educated. This is not a solid foundation for a relationship, to take your house metaphor.

A towel should not be left on the floor, anyone can agree, but on less obvious topics none of them can be credited as the unique source of Truth.

[mensetmanusman]

I should have noted that they are her ideals, not necessarily yours.

However if you strive to be her ideal man, it’s still worthwhile to know what those are :)