[Twounwhe]

I will not venture a guess as to whether the author's wife articulated her feelings and needs clearly because I do not know either of them.

However, I can say that in my own life, I have been quite explicit about how I was feeling multiple times. In my own words: "When you {seemingly insignificant thing} that I've mentioned bothers me, it makes me feel like you don't care about my concerns, and only care about yourself. That hurts me, and because I've already mentioned this, it makes me doubt that you have any concern for my feelings." (Somewhere around the dozenth time, append "or my wellbeing.")

Even so, it usually took repeating half a dozen times or more before my significant other exhibited any reaction beyond dismissal (i.e. moving past "It's just a cup. It shouldn't bother you."). This happened in three separate LTRs.

Obviously my anecdote doesn't prove anything... except that "women need to be explicit about how they are feeling" is insufficient (though necessary) in at least a non-zero % of communication.

[throwaway0a5e]

>Even so, it usually took repeating half a dozen times or more before my significant other exhibited any reaction beyond dismissal (i.e. moving past "It's just a cup. It shouldn't bother you.").

At least you actually repeated yourself half a dozen times. Many people would throw a fit about "you're not listening" before then.

[agota]

You seem to be implying that it's irrational to be upset about having to repeat yourself if you haven't yet repeated yourself at least six times?

If you need to repeat yourself half a dozen times to get any reaction beyond dismissal, it's reasonable to conclude that the other person is indeed not listening.

In fact, it's reasonable to conclude that they just don't care, and that it's time to move on.