[greenonions]

Also recommend this book. It's a simple system to understand your relationship easier, and it acts as a starting point.

As an example from the article, if the author recognized from the beginning that putting the dishes into the dishwasher made his wife feel loved, he would do so, his wife would be happy, and he would feel happy, starting a virtuous cycle.

[captaincaveman]

I don't think it would make her feel loved though, as in her view it was the norm, by putting it away you could say she didn't feel disrespected by him, however, it could also be viewed as it was her having disrespect of him for his behaviour ... we of course can only speculate.