[sleeplessworld]

I know from personal experience how seductive and attractive thoughts of ending your own life can be. Imagining and looking forward to the escape from this horrible world can be so full of joy. The calm, clarity and bliss you experience is only known to those that have been there. But you are clearly looking for help. Otherwise you wouldn't have posted this. You would just have done it. Risks of failure? Anyone can find safe and foolproof methods on the Internet. So this is clearly not what you are looking for. Seek help. Doing this always feel like failure. But you become empowered. You will grow. I did. Need a rope to cling to? Go stoic. Solid navigation methods for life and the world.