[DoingIsLearning]

> I'm curious to learn more from people who are handling this well.

Working as an IC I just don't accept invites and don't attend. With the following exceptions:

- Weekly review/Agile flavour meetings with my team

- Meeting with a team member to solve a specific issue

- A manager/VP/CTO _explicitly_ makes it clear _my_ presence is required

Perhaps I've been luck with my managers or perhaps it comes with seniority but I've never got any negative feedback on this. Most people invite you in for stuff just as a passive listener.

When I'm doing contract work I make it clear I am available for milestone review meetings and everything else is surcharged billable hours.