[giraffe_lady]

I don't hate the comment but I hate the reality it reflects. My unmedicated life is better in every possible way: I'm happier, more whimsical and joyous, I eat better and feel the music more, maintain a healthy weight and am a better friend and lover.

But also I can't hold it together for more than a couple months of full time work without it. So I diminish myself in these ways, and those I care about most don't get the best of me as much as they could, and my health suffers in serious, concrete ways.

I'm not young, and have done many kinds of work and had several careers, and am not looking for advice about this right now. I've established an adequate balance given the constraints, but god damn do I hate the constraints.