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by bradleyjg 1527 days ago
No, because "they" isn't gender-specific.

When used as a singular it’s the pronoun for people that identify as non binary. You are absolutely misgendering people but you get a free pass because contra fosefx this whole pronoun thing is about power and who has it, rather than universal respect.
2 comments
nicoburns 1527 days ago
> When used as a singular it’s the pronoun for people that identify as non binary.

It can be used for this, but it's also used for someone of indeterminate gender or if you simply don't want to mention their gender. For example:

"Oooh, that's such a beautiful baby, are they a boy or a girl"

"Does your friend want to buy my phone? You said they were interested?"

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bradleyjg 1527 days ago
But I am not an unknown person. If you know who I am and you’ve had an opportunity to see my preferred pronouns but choose to disregard those preferences you’ve misgendered me the same as if you’d referred to a transwomen as he.
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nicoburns 1527 days ago
> you’ve misgendered me the same as if you’d referred to a transwomen as he.

I think it's more analogous to referring to a transwoman as "they", which I also do. "They" does not gender you at all, so it can't misgender you. I don't think you (or anyone else be they cisgender or transgender) have a right be referred to by your gender, whether you prefer it or not. I think that's different to be referred to by a gender you consider worng. In that case someone is actively labelling you as a gender. By calling you "they" I'm saying I think you're genderless, whereas by calling someone "he" I think you are saying you think they're male.

If you had a strong preference to be referred to by your gender then I probably would make an effort to do that, but I don't think you are owed that (to be honest I wish trans people weren't so hung up on pronouns too - I think it's silly to be so fussy about language - but I have seen cases where they're used maliciously so I can somewhat understand why they are).

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bradleyjg 1527 days ago
I'm saying I think you're genderless, whereas by calling someone "he" I think you are saying you think they're male.

Right. As it turns out, I identify as male not genderless. But this is not something you are obligated to honor under threat of being fired for some reason.

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nicoburns 1527 days ago
Gah, typo. That was meant to to say I’m not saying I think you’re genderless.
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thesuperbigfrog 1527 days ago
>> this whole pronoun thing is about power and who has it, rather than universal respect.

That is my point.

If I provide my name and preferred pronouns, if you respect me and my wishes, why not use my name and preferred pronouns when addressing me or referring to me?

Using "they" when I don't want it as a pronoun is misgendering.

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