[WesleyHale]

I've been diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD. I wanted an alternative to medication and subscribed to Headspace. I allotted 60 days and 5 to 15 minutes a morning for meditation. For the last two weeks of the experiment, I increased the time to 30 minutes, and occasionally sat down twice a day. During this time, I was also reading "The Power Of Now" by Eckart Tolle. After the 60 days I reduced my practice back to a couple days a week.

The first few days felt silly. I didn't feel an improvement, understand what the point of meditation was, and didn't believe I was doing it correctly. Gradually over time, I began to feel more relaxed throughout the day. Situations that would normally cause my anxiety to rise did not affect me. My focus improved drastically and I was able to concentrate for longer. I felt exponentially more comfortable in social situations. In one specific instance at the height of my practice, I had two different friends comment positively on a noticeable difference in my “energy”.

Towards the end of my 60 days, I increased the time I was sitting down since I experienced a marginal improvement. The unexpected consequence was that I no longer cared about most things. I won’t say I was enlightened by any means, but I no longer needed external stimulus or material things to be happy. I felt indifferent towards most critical components of my life. Why did I need a job? Why do I need money? To buy material objects I don’t need? This pattern of though cascaded across all other aspects of my life. At this point in time, I legitimately believe I could be homeless and happy.

This transcendence scared me, and I cut down to a couple days a week. As it turns out, even balance needs balance.