That's it, really, and I love it. Nothing makes me snap out of it like being assigned a role from Paw Patrol by my two year old, and going off on some rescue mission. It's pure bliss.
Absolutely. Kids can be physically more tiring because you're carrying them often, they create a lot more household cleanup kind of work and sometimes keep you up at night. But playing with them, reading them a book etc is such an amazing way to relax and disconnect from work. Really makes me instantly relaxed and happy just doing something simple like putting her to bed and reading a story together.
On reading your original post again, what you experienced (both being super exhausted after work, and a shower helping) resonates with my what I felt early on in my career.
Things that helped were
- Take care of primary needs during the workday. Eat, drink, bathroom breaks. The basics. I could get so caught up I would forget about those things.
- More experience helps. Work is still incredibly taxing mentally, but as I've grown a bit more battle worn I don't have to second guess whether my work is good enough all the time, which is also exhausting. Being introverted, having been in the same place for a while (not to mention - being remote) also helps, I'm not being bombarded with people I don't know any more since I know them all.
- Having kids was brutal in terms of taking time and energy, but luckily it somehow came with an 'extra gear' to cope with it. Totally worth it though, I can only hope it becomes an option for you with time
- I also found that having a plan for what to eat after work was worthwhile, so I didn't have to think - just cook it and eat it.
- If something work relates is spinning in your head, write yourself an email about it and postpone it until tomorrow.
Not sure if any of this is helpful to you, but worth a shot :)
And it's not possible for everyone. When I had young kids, I could never put my mind back in that "I'm a kid again" mode and play their games. I tried, but it just was not there anymore. My wife could do it. My parents thought she was slightly silly, so maybe it's something I learned from them.
Some people just have that. I also suck at child's play. I've spoken to teachers and speech therapists who do, too. On the bright side, you get to be the parent who helps them feel more grown up when they're ready for that. It is a different kind if nurturing but is a wonderful feeling.