[simonh]

I agree with telling kids the truth about factual information and being honest, absolutely, but no, fairytales for me are crucial cultural heritage. They also have numerous practical social bonding functions. It's the same with little tricks and practical jokes.

Kids need to understand the difference between fantasy and reality. They also need to learn how to evaluate information, interrogate a problem and how to come to their own conclusions. Figuring out that there isn't a Santa Clause is a seminal experience for kids that IMHO they need to come to themselves, or at least that they benefit from doing so independently.

I was discussing this with my daughters just a few days ago. One day when she was about 5 my eldest said she would like some fairy dust from the tooth fairy instead of money in return for her latest tooth. I told her to write a letter to the fairy and leave it with the tooth under her pillow. I then took a sherbet sweet, ground it up into fine powder, peeled some toilet paper into a single layer, cut it into a small square and bound up the sherbet into a tiny bundle using a thread. It was about 5 millimetres across. The look on her face when she found it was priceless.

She's now 18 and we talked about it. Things like that are important bonding experiences, it's part of the fun of growing up, developing a sense of humour, and absolutely not at all the same sort of thing as lying or real deception.

In the examples int eh article the parents were untruthful in order to coerce compliance, or to make their lives easier. The were being deceitful in a selfish way and the kids were rightly outraged. That's completely different from a shared story or fantasy, and I think that kids that don't learn that difference and appreciate it are missing out on something really important and valuable.