[benrbray]

One thing to consider is: If the child realizes that Santa Claus isn't real before being told by their parents, they will experience the feeling of months or possibly years of all of the adults they trust lying to them. That is not a good feeling to have.

[asiachick]

I wasn't told by my parents. I found out because I looked under their bed and saw all the presents. I didn't bother me in the least nor did I start thinking all adults were lying. At most I thought they were pretending to provide fun. When my friends pretend to be someone else they aren't lying.

My dad used to have Santa visit (a friend of his who volunteered in public and came by as a favor to my dad). I didn't notice who it was. It didn't bother me at all when 2-3 years later I figured it out.

I know of zero kids that were traumatized by this. Not saying there are none but not going to recommend people don't do it. If we stopped doing things because some kid somewhere in the world freaked out we'd do absolutely nothing.

[duxup]

I figured it out on my own, didn’t feel that way. I assume most kids suspect / figure it out rather than have their parents tell them.

The phenomenon is interesting but I can’t say I understand it either.

[tempestn]

I think it depends on how actively parents try to maintain the fantasy. IE how directly they lie. When the kid is ready to know, they'll ask directly. If the parents straight-up lie at that point, then yeah, you can start to have a problem. But you can say, "Well, what do you think?" If they're satisfied with that, they're not ready. But if they say, "I think it's you guys" or whatever, you can ask if they really want to know. And if so, then you tell them the truth (in a nice way), and it'll probably be fine.

On the other hand, it can also be bad if the parent decides it's time for the child to know and tells them before they're ready. (That was what I got from a well-meaning but misguided parent, and it certainly wasn't fun.) Really it's like most 'adult' topics: you can broach the topic and then let the kid show you what level of detail they're ready for with the questions they ask.

[ummwhat]

This assumes a normative value of truth being good. You could be ambivalent on the truthfulness of adults, accepting early on that everyone lies some fraction of the time and it's ok for you to do it too. The badness of lying is a societal rather than universal value. Kids lie all the time when they think it will work, so why would they be surprised or offended when it happens?

The real hat trick is to lie to the adults about still believing in Santa so the presents keep on coming. A con so deep the marks think they're the ones pulling the con.

[danenania]

Our plan is to keep it going up until the point our daughter asks us directly, at which point we’ll tell her the truth.

[quinnjh]

Arguably part of the reason TO put on the production IMO- kids get a firsthand lesson with low stakes about platos cave