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by after_care 1535 days ago
Pronouns in profiles is at least four years old is some mainstream contexts [0]. I'm unsure that it is a fad because on the internet there can be very little other signaling of someone's gender.

[0] https://blog.asana.com/2018/05/new-profile-setting-pronouns-...

2 comments

Don't you consider revealing any personal information about yourself, including gender, a fad?
Keep in mind that many languages are inherently gendered and to ask someone "what did you today?" for example in Polish, you need to use the right gender. Answering anything will also reveal you gender.
> Answering anything will also reveal you gender.

Well, in the internet no one knows you're a dog. Some women used to answer using masculine conjugation as a default, to avoid their gender to distract from the things they did or had to say. Some men did the opposite to get attention or more eager responses.

I know it's inconvenient and to some may be considered even insulting as a suggestion, and I don't think it should be the norm. However, it's still a choice you're free to make.

This seems like the ultimate manifestation of old adage "there are no girls on the internet." I suspect that females (especially those not in the tech industry) tend to overwhelmingly hold accounts in their real name, whereas the vast majority of pseudonymous posters are men. It makes a lot of sense from a social conditioning perspective of communication: that females tend to be more relationship-focused whereas males tend to be more object-focused.

As a result, for girls, getting misgendered under a pseudonymous account is seen as danger that comes with the territory. And of course they take it in stride, because that's just what women do all the time.

Only if you declare yourself masculine or feminine, doesn't go any further. Someone could be non-binary and declare themselves more feminine than masculine
In some languages it is impossible to avoid this.
well, luckily most languages are modernizing to accommodate marginalized people! Historical patterns are no excuse to deliberately misgender or genderify language. E.g. for Spanish a lot of people use an X or @ instead of -o -a, same in German. In Scandinavia hön as a pronoun.

In mean eyes what is most important: grammatical correctness or kindness?

Truthful description of relevant info is most important. The constructed profile of the person I'm talking to online is uninteresting to me. You might actually be a dog for all I know. If you want me to play along so you're never confronted with being identified as a dog... then I'm not sure I'm really doing you a favor. Maybe the kindest thing is not to play along with your language game.
“a lot of people” who don’t live in Spanish-speaking countries.

Grammatical incorrectness is unkind to anyone who has to listen to you.

In Polish language it is flatly impossible, male/female/neuter is strongly built into grammar.

It would require remaking significant part of language, it is not a minor tweak like singular they in English.

Demanding this is a runaway imperialism.

I don’t think people expressing their identity markers online is going to stop happening anytime soon. Gender is a pretty fundamental part of most people’s identity.
The fad in question doesn't concern how closely people identify with their gender in real, normal life. It concerns their aptitude to announce their gender prior to any online interaction whatsoever.
> Don't you consider revealing any personal information about yourself, including gender, a fad?

We're coming up on twenty years since Myspace, so, anyone guessing it was a fad was wrong.

It beats everybody saying "asl????" all the time, something I always found a bit unsettling.
14/f/cal u?
I think that's a long enough running practice that it cannot be classified as a fad.
No, it's all a ruse by companies that want to sell your data.

I grew up with "don't use your real name online", "don't post pictures of yourself", etc. And I still believe that's how it should be.

Yes, it used to be a fad to not identify anything.
Albeit one that arguably lasted for a very, very long time.

From https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30943039 recently (also posted https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23732384 a couple years ago):

> ...[N]etworks like Friendster, MySpace, YouTube, and, later, Facebook and Twitter were dissolving the boundaries between social groups that had long shaped personal relations and identities. Before social media, you spoke to different “audiences” — family members, friends, colleagues, and so forth — in different ways. You modulated your tone of voice, your words, your behavior, and even your appearance to suit whatever social “context” you were in (workplace, home, school, nightclub, etc.) and then readjusted the presentation of yourself when you moved into another context.

> On a social network ... all those different contexts collapsed into a single context. Whenever you posted a message or a photograph or a video, it could be seen by your friends, your parents, your coworkers, your bosses, and your teachers, not to mention the amorphous mass known as the general public. And, because the post was recorded, it could be seen by future audiences as well as the immediate one. When people realized they could no longer present versions of themselves geared to different audiences — it was all one audience now — they had to grapple with a new sort of identity crisis.

Mr / Ms worked for a long time