[skandl]

You should check out Gabor Mate (there are many good interviews on youtube) to understand the nature of addicting, especially as it pertains to things beyond drugs and alcohol. The high level summary is that addiction is usually less about the specific vice than it is a tool that helps you disconnect and find relief from inner turmoil and/or anxiety. The best thing you can do is to let yourself become open and curious about yourself and what you're going through from a holistic point of view, and then think about how you want to heal.