| Let me suggest an option that I haven't seen others bring up. One source of depression is that your expectations of what life and relationships should be like is all messed up. This comes from having a dysfunctional family growing up. There are many families that just weren't able to give emotional support in the way that the child needed. This leaves you with a twisted view of who you are and what you need in life. As an aside, if you think talking about depression is hard, try getting people to admit that their parents were less than perfect. We were completely dependent on our parents growing up and we idolize them. People are imperfect. Parents are people. You can do the math from there, but it's still super hard to say out loud. Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (commonly called ACA or ACoA) is a twelve step support group that focuses on this. They started because children of alcoholics were having a number of problems, even though they never touched alcohol themselves. Addiction was an obvious way for parents to be emotionally unavailable, but there are many other dysfunctions that affect children in a similar way. Search for the ACA Laundry List to see the common characteristics. If you relate to even half that list, then ACA will probably help you. ACA is a support group. You can learn a lot just from reading the books, but there is more value in regularly talking to people who have dealt with the same issues. There are local groups in most areas (search for ACA groups), as well and zoom/phone groups. There are many different approaches to therapy. If you are in the ACA category, then looking for a therapist that understands childhood trauma and neglect can be much more effective then the common CBT approach. Asking around at a group meeting can be useful to get references. A good group plus good therapy is more powerful than either alone. I dealt with depression my whole life. I had some improvement with St John's Wort (a herbal SRRI), Vitamin D3, NAC, sleep, and exercise as others have already written about. But I had to discover ACA to get at the core issues. If there is interest, I can post my list of ACA related books. |
> As an aside, if you think talking about depression is hard, try getting people to admit that their parents were less than perfect. We
Wow this hit me hard. Not because of my own expectations, but because of the expectations my ex had during our relationship, and looking at her family and their relationships it makes much more sense. You hit the nail on the head. Thanks for posting this.