[kleer001]

I know you didn't ask me... but I'd say "Get one." The benefits far outweigh the deficits.

Why? I'm in my mid 40s and have a 1 yo. I'd trade the adventure and hedonism of my 20s and 30s for good knees, a good back, quicker recovery from sleep deprivation, etc...

Now, don't just mate with anyone, be smart, look at how their parents are doing, ascertain their fundamental personality. IMHO 4-6 hours of real conversation is enough to tell if you want to spend the rest of your life with a person. The real challenge is listening to and believing that quiet little voice in your head. Which is a challenge because sometimes that takes 30+ years to learn how to do.

[nwh5jg56df]

I know what you mean about leaving hedonism & adventure behind. Through biological evolution our brains have evolved to be long-term happy if you settle down and raise a family? (Source: random comment on hacker news that clicked for me)

[v-erne]

If You think that having family will make You long-term happy think twice. This is something that You cannot know up front - its a little bit like with extreme situations such as accidents or conflicts - no one knows how he will behave and how he will feel util the situation happens).

This family thing, especially with children, is a gamble and You can get unimaginable bad cards and there are no take backs. I may be skewed a bit because most people that I know become so unbearably unhappy after starting family that You would never want to spend time with them. For some it resolved itself (after children grow up and left home) and for some it destroyed their life.

[kleer001]

absolute crap shoot

people think they're lucky

[kleer001]

Happy isn't really a good goal. It's can be the result of a process, but aiming towards happiness as a goal in a of its self is mostly ruinous. There's ton of wisdom on this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-or_D-qNqM

Right?

Me I'm aiming towards harmony with my life free of unnecessary suffering simultaneous with the same thing for my family.