[neuroma]

Really enjoyed reading this.

Makes me wonder though about how we inevitably generalise people's personal stories into rules of thumb. I'm acutely aware how one person's journey for an antidote to their personality dysfunctions isn't always medicine for another person.

If Hayley has dominantly anxious-avoidant attachment style it'd explain her ambivalence. The antidote is engage executive regulation (to supress the anxiety and flight response), and downplay emotional resonance.

Common a formula as it is, could be a muddle for you or I if we don't have her underlying predispositions.

What does it say about me that I wrote this.

[irrational]

> What does it say about me that I wrote this.

That you read a lot of self help books?

I have zero idea what “The antidote is engage executive regulation (to supress the anxiety and flight response), and downplay emotional resonance.” even means.

[throwaway0a5e]

>Makes me wonder though about how we inevitably generalise people's personal stories into rules of thumb

Applying rules of thumb takes a heck of a lot less mental effort than tossing everything into a mental bucket of "other people's experience" and then drawing on specific aspects as relevant to the situation.

[neuroma]

Sure, I get that simplification is essential to think and live.

But rules of thumb about how people generally are inevitably lose fidelity for individuals, making then often entirely wrong.

For example anxious people find certain things help their quality of life, but those things may be toxic to someone without an anxious disposition.

In the same way that we love someone who 'has the answer' - its cognitively relaxing - i suggest we are too easily led to sudpend judgement on issues which entirely deserve our full consideration