[kqr]

It's not quite what you are asking for, but I think you'd be interested in NurtureShock. It investigates common parenting sense with a foot in the evidence and finds a lot of things that don't quite add up. (One typical finding that relates to the "small adult" thing is that it's beneficial to discuss race and racial issues surprisingly early.)

Although it's ostensibly aimed at adults, Dan Pink's Drive is a useful reference for what motivates people, including children.

When we're at it, I also learned a lot about what can and cannot be taught to children from The Nurture Assumption.