[AlwaysRock]

I love the idea of these. Last time I heard of them I sat down to write one and couldnt get through more than 1 or 2 points before feeling like it was a incredibly self indulgent exercise that wouldnt actually be helpful to anyone.

I couldnt imagine sharing this with a coworker. Even if I did, I cant imagine they would read all of it and internalize it. Most people act how they act. They may adjust their behavior slightly when interacting with you but they are not going to adopt a whole new communication style or something complex just to work better with you.

The only person I feel like I could share this with without feeling like an ass would be my direct manager. And typically I have a similar conversation with them during one on ones in the first 6 months of working there.

But at the end of the day its a compromise. Managers are often good at managing and motivating in MAYBE one way. If your way of ideally being managed or motivated doesnt align with theirs then you will both have to find some middle ground. Or change teams/managers/companies.

[mplanchard]

I completely agree, and I felt the same way when we had to do these for a previous job. The whole process felt _embarassing_, honestly. And, in practice, just like you said, people just act how they act, and interactions with people were shaped infinitely more by that than by the user manuals, which afaik were never referenced by anyone once written.

I might appreciate being able to read this as a manager, and I would take what insight I could glean from it as a coworker. However, even as someone who tries hard to adapt my natural method of interaction to other people, I can’t imagine their poorly self-descriptive document is going to be more useful than a month of direct contact and honest communication.