[TheOtherHobbes]

It's impersonal, sterile, generic (what does a corporate word like "excellence" actually mean in practice?), and simultaneously intrusive and lacking in empathy for readers.

What you have written is actually a list of demands.

Not likes. Not tendencies. Not polite requests. Not values you hope to share with others by meeting them half way, possibly clumsily but with good faith.

Demands.

There is no social context in which a document like this is appropriate.