Ask HN: How do you deal with the fear of judgement?

[thinkingofthing]

I've had experience fear of judgement throughout my life, but the work setting has been challenging in different ways.

Particularly pushing code, speaking up during meetings, and asking questions has showed to be challenging, causing me to delay tasks unnecessary. The fear of making mistakes, asking dumb questions, and not meeting expectations has made working harder that it could otherwise be.

If anyone has experienced it, how did you deal with it?

[Minor49er]

Yes. I have a general anxiety that has followed me throughout my life. It typically grows when I'm in a new situation or don't know how people will respond. The only way through it is to do it anyways. If you don't push code, don't speak up, don't ask questions, then those are opportunities for value that are lost. Once you start doing those things, you will see that even if you make mistakes or fumble things, people won't think too critically of those and won't remember the mistakes. In fact, a lot of specific things you do won't be thought of much at all by the people around you as long as you're doing what you're supposed to.

Think about the people in your life that you've known. Not even people that you were necessarily close with. Like your classmates, coworkers, and whoever else that you would see around. Did they ever make mistakes? Chances are that you won't be able to recall. And if you can, you probably don't think that it's really a big deal now.

So just do it. The anxiety that you experience will quickly fade while the benefits you gain will last for much longer.

[giantg2]

They're going to judge you no matter what. I get constantly judged for not talking in meetings. I speak up on subjects/topics when I have something to contribute, which is fairly often. But it's like they expect me to be constantly talking.

So even if you're quiet or not asking questions, they'll hold it against you. Might as well speak up if you're being judged either way.

[andrei_says_]

You face judgement criticism and downright sabotage multiple times and you see that they are not as big of a thing.

They suck and disrupt and hurt but recovery happens, faster and faster.

In my career it was the hardest when I was trying to avoid them. I am at a point when I expect them as a phase and try to get them over with.

Also it’s often about that person and not me. Focusing on the other person helps.

[spansoa]

The most successful companies have a secretary that isn't constantly replying to email, chatting on the phone, etc

They are successful because when the phone rings, they make money. They've turned making money into a pull versus push situation.

[fsflover]

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30814248