| This may be somewhat of a contrarian perspective but savor it. Turn it into a superpower. One day you will spend lots of time alone (say as you have more than 60 years or whatever behind you) and you'll need to figure out ways to like embrace all the free time. So think about it as like learning a new skill maybe: how can you get good at killing time. Maybe, I don't know, taking walks, seeing movies, going to cafes, wandering around a city or a bookshop, or exploring some new little places that open up. Art galleries and art openings, may be great too. I guess a lot of that is dependent on where you live and the opportunities for that kind of stuff you have. I like being alone. I'm very comfortable with my own thoughts and feelings and I have loads of free time. And if I see someone that interests me I know that I have no problem going up to them and just saying something. And that's not normally about anything more than just something in the moment, a conversation. It's not even about a connection or a friendship or anything like that. I find just sometimes randomly talking to strangers when I feel like it is really satisfying. And it doesn't mean I don't feel a little embarrassed or sort of scared to do that I do but I just make myself do it anyway when I choose to and it does get easier over time to do that. So easy that it's sometimes feels ridiculous how easy it is to talk to random people and then it's almost like you see it from another point of view where, like, "how is this ever hard or weird?" And I don't just mean anyone who looks interesting to you "romantically" I mean literally anyone who looks interesting to you, not just someone who's in your "optimal mating parameters" or whatever, heh :) If you're talking about biological necessity in terms of sex then I guess what I can say is don't depend on someone else to give you the way you want to feel or what you want to have. Nothing wrong with having that with someone else but make sure you know how to satisfy yourself and get good at that because that's really important as well. In terms of emotion, maybe it would also help to go a bit deeper, ask yourself how you actually feel about this situation (and by that I don't refer to any specific aspect of it but the totality of your situation right now)? Where do you feel it in your body, and what do you feel there, and also what's the emotion and thoughts you have around it? And also then go even deeper than that and ask yourself why do you feel this way? Why is it important to you? What are you making it mean? And maybe try to figure out what's there for you. This last step is really crucial and important. Sometimes gaining that clarity and perspective about what's actually going on really is transformative. And if you do that and that happens then solutions will probably just present themselves to you as ideas so easily. It's so hard (and way too much responsibility and karma) to give advice and I'm not. I'm just sharing stuff I've discovered that have works for me, even though I don't feel lonely and I like being alone, maybe because I already have strategies for dealing with all the free time I have. I'm also in a relationship but that time is bounded. I also have a lot of free time outside of it. Maybe I'm an anomaly compared to most people in terms of how I relate but just sharing my experience in case it can help you or someone else. |