| I think my answer to your second question and to your overall situation is to learn the underlying essential skill of "self-confidence". I didn't get mine from my parents, I learned to fake it until I made it. It makes you more fun to be around, and it gives you the skills required to initiate communication with people who lack that skill. It makes you happier in your own skin. As for other advice? Get a therapist. Learn to talk. Talk to people and learn to really listen. If you can't remember shit (and my memory is awful), make notes as soon as the conversation is done. There's no shame in using effort to work around one's own flaws. If someone tells you they're doing something, follow up, and make a calendar entry if needs be. How'd the exam go, how was your trip, how was the appointment? Explore social hobbies. Some of my most meaningful friendships have been formed through gaming. I mainly play Valorant and Overwatch on PC. I'm not a great player, certainly not a mechanically skilled one. But I greet the server, I'm a positive team player, and I communicate. People enjoy playing with me, and it's a great way to start talking to people and spend time with them. Cosplay, skating, raving, try whatever you might enjoy. It's ok to need people, dude. And loneliness can suck. But most other people don't want to be lonely either. All you need is the opportunity for interaction, and the skills to capitalise on it. A friendship rewards both parties. Nothing manipulative or abusive about that. To give you an example, I spent 3 hours on a voice call with a female friend I made randomly playing Valorant. We've met up in person, we message most days, and both our lives are improved by the friendship. Sorry it's slightly rambling, but I hope that helped. |
Therapy is useful to learn how to deal with problems. But even the most resilient person can be overwhelmed.
In the end, you have to learn to let go of stuff that happened.