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have been intentional about not falling into the same behaviors with my kids Some behaviour is just plain borked, but other behaviour is just more nuanced. An example, some kids are extroverted, others intro. What works for one, may not be the same for another. You may need to constantly work with an extrovert, so they are eventually, as an adult, be in control of their own exuberance. And with an introvert, work with them, trying to help them expand thier ability to interact. An ability for both to live in a shared society. But imagine a parent who was an extrovert, was constantly upset at, as a child, being told to calm down, or stop asking 1000 questions per second. Or even, just "give another a moment to talk". So they, with an extrovert, do not do such things. And the extrovert does not learn control, and dicipline, and to give others some space sometimes, and becomes less capable of interacting with others as an adult. Of course, this is a poor example, and poorly phrased, but I hope my point comes across. We should focus more strongly on what is correct for the child, not how a parent may have misapplied childhood lessons to ourselves. For those lessons may be right for your child, even if not for oneself. |