[MandieD]

I’ll give you the old saw: who do you want to share a checkbook with? Not exactly literally - my husband and I have always had very separate accounts due to the weird issues being a US citizen abroad presents, but we still share a common financial future. And a kid.

Money fights are the cause of a lot of divorces.

Speaking of kids, the responsibility factor is even more important. And the sexy fun factor is even less. (The jokes about parents not having sex anymore are not about a loss of attractiveness)

However, if you do consider committing to a partner with a serious career, discuss who is going to be the one, in the end, who will take the career hit of being the primary caretaker. My husband takes our kid to daycare most days, puts him to bed most nights, and takes him out to play on off days. He jumps in to change diapers when available. He is fantastic.

However, I’m the one who drops everything and runs to daycare if they call, and attempts to work while watching him if he can’t go. My colleagues are familiar with my kid; my husband’s are not. We decided long before our kid came along that as an IT professional, I was in a better position to recover from the hit. It’s still a harder hit than I thought it would be.

[Cheiree]

Once you have kids the problems will arise on their own, so you need somebody you can depend on or you will suffer.

Also sleep deprivation is not conductive to having a happy sex life.

In our age marriage is done out of love, but legally it is still a contract about the provisioning of resources and services. Having a happy marriage is like winning the lottery, but having an unhappy marriage is like living in a plane crash waiting to happen every fricking day with you sitting in a window seat. Choose wisely.

[mungoman2]

Very interesting perspective, thanks for sharing! I'm curious about the hit you mention? Could you expand a bit on what consequences you are experiencing?