[hn_throwaway_99]

I went and googled the advertising page of the second chance adoption agency discussed in this article, and it's just heartbreaking. On one hand, I really can't imagine what these "parents" were thinking adopting these children in the first place - the reasons for rehoming go from "major lifelong medical care required" to "child doesn't get along with his siblings" - but, in any case, doesn't seem like many of the issues would have been unknown or that unexpected at the time of the first adoption. I also have the distinct feeling that few of these parents would give these kids up at the ages of 8-10 if they were their own biological children.

Of course, on the other hand, I can't help but think that these kids should be removed ASAP from a home where a parent would consider giving them up after caring for them for 8-9 years.

Just really sad all around, my heart goes out to these kids.

[pvaldes]

> Doesn't seem like many of the issues would have been unknown

You would be surprised of how dishonest, abusive and manipulative can be the adopting programs.

I know the case of a Spanish couple without children that adopted a Chinese girl baby. Some time later they discovered in a routinely health check (in Spain) that the girl has Down's syndrome, a fact that was know obviously but carefully hidden by the Chinese authorities.

[kayodelycaon]

This happened to my aunt and uncle.

[in_cahoots]

Looking at the children up for adoption today, a large portion seem to come from families with many other siblings. Who would have thought that children with special needs require dedicated attention?!

The other thing I was surprised to see is how many of these kids ‘love Jesus’ and want to go to a traditional (i.e. straight Christian) family. I would think that any loving family is better than being unwanted, regardless of their religion and genders.

[ratww]

Yep. Kinda breaks my heart that the girl mentioned in the first paragraphs was given back because the adoptive parents left church :/

[lupire]

> these kids ‘love Jesus’ and want to go to a traditional (i.e. straight Christian)

"These kids" don't want that.

[wizzwizz4]

Sometimes they do. I don't know how to tell the difference between “child's desires are being listened to” and “people are speaking for the child” other than talking to them – and often, children don't feel comfortable speaking their minds even when they're assured it's safe to do so, so it's hard for me to tell even then. (Ymmv: I imagine skilled practitioners of social-fu can tell the difference.)

But just because adults are saying that a child wants something, that doesn't mean the child doesn't want that thing.