[xorcist]

> stitch together some byzantine Frankenstein's monster from existing tech,

Or, you could stich it together from new tech.

It wasn't long ago I was surprised to discover a Hadoop installation at my current professional setting, complete with Zookeepers and everything. After some sleuthwork (which wasn't that bad as they keep everything in git, in a future when everything is api calls to some Kuberentes clusters we're all smoked) it turned out that all it does it move data between two systems.

Literally. It could be replaced with a periodic rsync run. Instead someone has to maintain and monitor a whole suite of software, prepare, test and run upgrades and so on.