[mdolon]

The question I always ask myself in these situations is: what am I optimizing for? Based on what you've shared, it sounds like you'd like to optimize for starting a family in the next 2 years. If that is true, you probably already know the answer to the question in your title.

One other thing: taking a break is not the same as giving up. I've tried and failed at multiple startups, taking jobs in between to rebuild my savings. There is always opportunity cost and risk involved in all that we do, you just have to learn to be comfortable with whatever decision you make.

[eloff]

This is excellent advice. Yes, I think you're right - I know what I have to do. It just hurts to shelve my dreams and play grown-up again. I think it's what's called for right now. Maybe in the future one day I find a co-founder and/or a great startup idea and things change again.

[ianai]

Is there a minimally viable version of it that you could start selling?

From what I read, it sounds way too "in the weeds" to really be a marketable good/service.

Otherwise, kids are rough. I'm not much older than you. I realize probably every day past 30 (give or take) I'm moving slower, and kids can be outright chaos demons. There's also the fact of wanting to be established with a corporation to some extent before you ask for time off to have a kid. There's a HUGE amount of corporate knowledge and wisdom to know, but the minimal is you may be outright unable to take time off during any probationary period at a new job. The probation period could be anywhere from 0 days (unlikely), 90 days (common), to a year (not unheard of). If your "have a kid" deadline is 2 years from now and you probably need to have a decent professional relationship with an employer for a year before having the kid, the time to get hired is in the next year. I think that means it's time to get serious with applying for work as a search can take considerable time. Probably time to get "desperate" about finding work around 9 months from now, as a guestimate?

[idrios]

It's not shelving your dreams, it's training for them. Learn business practices from the company you join, get exposed to new technologies and new sets of problems, learn from the senior and junior devs around you, and meet like-minded people who can help you start your company when you try again.

[eloff]

I like your glass half-full mindset. You're right, of course, I could frame it that way and specifically seek out roles that will help me gain knowledge and experience in the areas that I need them. Also I may meet people, encounter opportunities, etc during the journey.

[jrumbut]

The other glass half full aspect here is that you'll be able to establish a network of people who are or will be CIOs when it's time to launch.

Then you'll have the explaining problem partially solved. "I don't understand it either but I know to listen when ol' @eloff talks about Postgres performance."

[demadog]

Yes this is the way - networks get really powerful in the mid career years (35-50)

[coryrc]

I have dreams. Actually following some of them makes me unhappy.

[oreally]

Hi, on a similar track here. How long did you take to 'rebuild your savings'? Is there a target amount you computed? And how does it translate across living expenses, because I'm not living in Silicon Valley nor America. Is the prospect of not retiring in your 60s a possibility for you?

[mdolon]

> How long did you take to 'rebuild your savings'?

It depends on the pay, current expenses, etc. For me, it would take 1-2 years on average (US tech job paying base close to $200k).

> Is there a target amount you computed? And how does it translate across living expenses, because I'm not living in Silicon Valley nor America.

This varies based on expenses and needs but generally, I would suggest at least 12 months of runway (for me this would be about $50-60k with some buffer, given that I support my family financially). This may take considerably longer for you if you're not in America.

> Is the prospect of not retiring in your 60s a possibility for you?

I am optimizing for financial security much sooner than 60. While I have an IRA account, it's not something I focus on or think about (or even actively invest into outside of when I have a tech job). I have a very high risk tolerance though, so take that with a grain of salt.