[klipt]

Unless your pictures are very attractive, I think you need some "game" just to get people on OkCupid to write back to you. For example I find my reply rate goes up a lot when I inject humor into my first message (whereas in real life I might save the jokes for when an opportunity arises naturally in the conversation).

[HeyLaughingBoy]

That's life, isn't it? We all have to show ourselves in a good light if we want people to like us.

I'm married (met my wife online as a booty call/hookup), but the main lesson I remember from online dating was from the woman who commented, "...you don't sound at all desperate." I didn't understand, so after we met, she showed me a sample of messages she got from guys and I couldn't believe how absolutely awful they all came across. Other women since that verified the same thing: 99% of men they met online seemed like losers at first glance so they just hit <delete> and moved on.

Basically, sound like a friendly person with a sense of humor and you're way ahead of 90% of the rest of people looking for love & sex online.

[dev_jim]

I live in NYC where I'm pretty sure I'm about as average looking as they get :) I usually just write a quick 2-3 liner about some shared interest or something I found interesting about her profile. Reply rate is about 33% (OKCupid has a ton of stats, is there a way to find out the actual rate?). Maybe that's game? I just see it as natural conversation.

[klipt]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't NYC have more women than men? I think I'm pretty average too but I'm pretty sure my non-humorous messages get a lower reply rate than that here in the Bay Area.

I would like to do more casual dating than I do at the moment, but there aren't that many OkCupid profiles I'm attracted to in the first place, and even fewer of them reply to my messages, so...