[mtberatwork]

First off, take a step back and do about 2 - 5 minutes of deep breathing ("Box Breathing" [0] is a popular technique.) Second, know that you are not alone here. You've got a team working on solving the problem and you aren't tackling it all by yourself. You can relax your shoulders a bit. Third, it's OK if the project doesn't get done on time ... no matter what the PHBs are complaining about, it doesn't matter. I've also got 20 years in (plus two major burnouts) and I have never seen a missed deadline be more then a minor setback. It happens all the time.

Now, going forward. Yes, it sounds like you need a break/vacation. Take one! Vacation time is meant to be used. It also sounds like you are juggling too many projects at work. Talk with your bosses and see if you can offload some of these projects or get more people hired. Communicate with them that you and your team are overloaded and it's not good for the organization.

Lastly, dealing with anxiety takes time and there is no shame in getting help from a professional. In the mean time, the NHS has a number of good audio/resources regarding mental well-being [1]. I came across them a long time ago and found them quite helpful. Also, talk with immediate family members or even close friends if you can. We are social, family-oriented creatures after all and need support. Taking care of your physical and mental health is a life-long journey and there are LOTS of techniques and things to do. Some will work for you, some won't ... everyone is different. You might also stumble again and that's completely normal. You will absolutely get through this (and anyone else reading who is in the same boat).

[0] https://www.healthline.com/health/box-breathing [1] https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-...