[trabant00]

In our current culture some traits are considered positive while others negative. Compassionate - positive, judgemental - negative. I think this is wrong, they are both neutral. And I think trying to maximize one and minimize the other can have detrimental effects on one's quality of life.

Listen to people. When they tell you they don't want to share in most cases you really don't want to know or have anything to do with what they don't want to share. Especially if you have intentions that basically sum up to a savior complex. They have information that you don't and based on that they decided it will not help your relation to get into that. Why not just accept that?