Ask HN: How to get boring once again?

[abrocks]

Growing up in middle class family, I had almost no internet access till high school. I could read a book till hours and no one would bother me. I was not affected by any social media announcements or fast track news making my brain(tinkered by thousand years of evolution) go into panic stage. Life was more routined and controlled as I wanted to be. Less access to resources meaning I had to work around solutions and do things creatively without pressure of posting it on internet.

Now, I get distracted by so many new things coming up. Each new venue or event brings up a new opportunity. I am in my mid 20s and planning to get married. So, I have to invest in future like Mutual funds, stocks etc. I have to think about buying a house in next 10 years as the real estate prices are going up. I have a decent paying job but I have a fear that it will not be be enough for my retirement. So, I have either invest in opportunities like NFTs, cyrptocurrency, real estate etc. or start working on my own startup. I wanted to learn a lot of things but keep getting distracted.

So, how can I get boring once again? Boringly passionate about what I want to do. Is there any stream where I can work in and feel safe about it? Or Is it even possible for the remanants of Industrial Age to work in boringly passionate way as this doesn't suit work style of information age?

PS: I am looking for specific techniques, tricks or strategies which anyone has applied in their life and working for them. I am already going through the abstract advices on life goals, philosophy, values, beliefs etc.

[noud]

I realized several years ago that there is a difference between what's new and what's important. There is almost nothing new, that's also important. So don't bother about what's new. Instead, look for the things that withstood the time. It's a choice to be distracted with what's new.

Some tips:

* Replace your smartphone with an old fashion Nokia. If something is really important, people will call you. All the other messages are not important.

* Don't read the news. Especially not online news. News is what it's named after: it's new, but rarely important. Terminate your membership on any journal that you have.

* If something is free, it's probably mend to distract you. Always think twice when something is "given" to you for free. You're not the customer of Gmail, Youtube, or Google! You're not the customer of commercial tv broadcasters! You're not the customer of free news sites! The customers are the advertisers. If you want something, it's often better when you have to pay for it.

* Use a text based web browser (I like elinks). If a webpage cannot be showed correctly, it's probably not interesting to look at.

* Don't read books younger than 10 years old. The older the book the better. They stood the wheel of time. There are many books written to do one thing, and one thing only, make a lot of profit. Especially books on self improvement, if they would work, you would never buy a self improvement book again. Which means no profits anymore.

* Similar for technology, new technology doesn't mean that it's better. Try to only use technology that stood the wheel of time. E.g. I recently start replacing paper books with ebooks. I think that E-readers are around long enough now to be something that's worthwhile to start using.

* Don't care about current stocks and funds trends too much. Current trends are new, but not per definition important. If you put a fixed amount of money into a retirement fund every month, you'll likely have enough when you're 65 to retire.

* Don't care about the current house prices and projections too much. If you're going to live in your house for the next 50 years, the current house price nor the projected house price doesn't matter at all. As long as you don't have to sell your house, the house price has zero effect on your life.

Good luck!

[abrocks]

- Replace your smartphone: I can't completely abandon my smartphone but yes I have uninstalled lots of attention seeking apps from my phone. I use social media via web browser which is less addictive as compared to smartphone. I keep all notifications off.

- News: Yes, I have stopped reading online news.

- Free: I totally agree with this advice. I have stopped looking for freebies. I only use paid products as much as possible(even for gmail, youtube etc.). Only freebies are taken in when I am trying something new.

- Books: I have an affinity towards self help books which I am planning to cut down. I have to start looking for the solution inward as compared to outward.

- Technology: Yes and No - my job involves catching up to latest technology and implementing technology which came into market 10 years ago. I guess 10 years could be a good batch size.

- Text based browser: My niece of 5 year old is more knowledgable as compared to me when I was 5 years old. It is not that he is genetically smart or better than me. The mediums via which he is learning video, audio, pictures etc. as compared to text make him understand things faster and better. Now, whenever I have to understand a new concept I always go through video tutorial, podcast or a blog with flowcharts and diagrams. I am able to connect the dots faster.

- Stocks and house prices: This is one part where I still don't have a clarity on. I feel manipulated by the bigger forces of the market.

[gxnxcxcx]

Please keep in mind that your current "I have to x" may have been manufactured (or at least partially influenced) by the same attention-grabbing machinery you now want to escape from, so I suggest you keep some healthy wiggle room to accommodate new insights on what may or may not be essential for you in the future.

[giantg2]

I agree with this. If you think you won't have enough for retirement while also having a decent paying job, then it's possible you might just have to adjust your expectations for retirement. That could mean something like retiring later, getting a part time job in retirement, or moving to a lower cost area.

[abrocks]

Getting a part time job in retirement or moving to a lower cost area is definitely on my list. However, I do want to retire early.

[abrocks]

Yes, there is the classic dilemma - I know what I know - I know what I don't know - I don't know what I don't know

I am worried about the third right now.

[nicksiscoe]

Not to shill in this thread… but I’m 23 and thinking through a lot of the things you’re thinking about right now.

I realized recently that there are lots of “unknowns” in my life that I actually could reasonably uncover with a little bit of effort and a sensible system for discovery.

Examples: Marriage, home ownership, retirement, work promotions, children, hobbies/interests

These are things we actually can know if we’re on track for, we just don’t know how. It’s just math at the end of the day - what $$$ needs to come in and out and when to accomplish XYZ thing.

No silly online calculator understand the context of your situation. We need a solution that is all-encompassing, highly unopinionated and configurable, and that embraces uncertainty.

I’m building a little software tool for this called Wayform (https://www.wayform.io). I still have a lot of work to do, but I want it to be useful for young people like ourselves trying to find mental peace while also caring deeply about our life trajectory.

[codpiece]

NFTs, real estate, side-hustle, crypto, startup are all wonderful rabbit holes to lose yourself for months or years. Don't do it.

Investments: yes. But keep it boring or you fall into the same trap. Wallstreetbets, value stocks are all a black hole of distraction. Look to the Boglehead investment portfolio. Learn the basic philosophy and then stop reading. Save consistently and don't read the daily financial news.

Tech: pick 2-3 sources (mine: HN, TheRegister, etc). Breaking news can wait.

I track my internet time like I do my consulting time. I don't rely on Apple to tell me, I log it. When distraction creeps, I edit my /etc/hosts file and stop temptation.

I disable all but the most critical notifications on my phone (calls/texts from family, event and deadline alerts)

Our personal success came when I stopped chasing the side hustle and we both got full time jobs, lived below our means, and saved like crazy. Before that, I was chasing dreams and wasting time and money reading about sure-fire ways to make tons of money.

Try to recognize the patterns that lead to distraction. If you look at FIRE, wallstreetbets, nfts, affilate marketing, shaving forums, headphone audiophiles, whatever, all have grail-chasing mechanisms that entice you to stay and work towards a community ideal that distracts you from your personal life goals.

Source: been there, dug myself out.

[giantg2]

"value stocks are all a black hole of distraction."

If you want value stocks, or any metric/sector, you can get it through stuff like VOOV.

[codpiece]

Good point. I should have been more precise.

The discussions around the hunt for value stocks can be a distraction. It's pretty easy to find a good fund to buy into and then forget about it.

[austincheney]

Options:

* Go into academia and publish often. This will not pay well but you can do ok and you can enter the corporate world at a later time for a high salary but it will feel like working with children.

* Become a military officer. This is a highly focused lifestyle befitting an operationally minded person who lives in the moment with constant stress balanced against a cool resolve. If you want to enter senior management you will become a short term academic at CGSC and the war college in addition to your prior fast paced life. To summarize the military life is to condense real world career struggles into a quarter of the time, plus life and death consequences, but without the fear of becoming spontaneously unemployed. You won’t get wealthy in the military either, but you can become extremely well compensated (wealthy compared to average persons but dirt poor compared to the equivalent responsibilities in the corporate world).

* Become a JavaScript developer. As a JavaScript developer the incompetence is an industry norm so you can easily achieve a highly salary with minimal time investment. Salaries are inflated and expectations are low. JavaScript developers will often complain about stresses that do not seem to exist, as compared to the academic or military life, plainly indicating that stress is relative. This is the easy life unless the industry matures, at which point many developers will quickly find themselves disqualified from practice without a fallback option.

[abrocks]

- Academia: I have often pondered over that thought and I find it a space for myself in the long term. But not going into academia but working as consultant with Academia while working my day job(a low paying which would give me freedom of time to pursue these threads). Not only academia is relatively slow paced so lesser work pressure but rewarding in terms of growth.

- Military: Many people in my neighbourhood have taken the same route and are enjoying their life. However, their savings were not enough to let them enjoy life in a city. They can only live their life in a small town.

- JavaScript developer: This is a very tempting thread which I am willing to pursue on. My founder with 40 years of experience said similar things. People will complain about java script but Javascript is not going to die. New flavours may keep coming in but it will not go away.

[jamjamjamjamjam]

A common problem. Ive been reclaiming my attention two ways. No push notifications except for trusted contacts via message/call. And the other side, choosing to read a chapter on my e-reader before social media. And social media is limited to useful dev subreddits and hackernews. I have basically no friends, so i must be pretty boring.

Ive deleted Facebook, instagram. I switched my email over to paid fastmail, use apple maps. If there was a way around apples walled garden I’d be happy (no pinephone where I am)

[abrocks]

I will try the idea of reading a chapter before using social media. I guess I can use it as kind of token money(read a chapter) to be earned to play my favourite game(social media).

[itnAAnti]

For boring but sound financial advice, I recommend Dave Ramsey. His book “the total money makeover” changed my financial life in my mid 20’s.

I sleep much better being completely debt-free and knowing that I’m on-track to retire well even if I never hit it big or get another raise in my life.

[_448]

> Growing up in middle class family, I had almost no internet access till high school. I could read a book till hours and no one would bother me. I was not affected by any social media announcements or fast track news making my brain(tinkered by thousand years of evolution) go into panic stage. Life was more routined and controlled as I wanted to be. Less access to resources meaning I had to work around solutions and do things creatively without pressure of posting it on internet.

This!

My sister and I had talk about this many times. We came to the conclusion that a constrained life is more content life. The more you have it, the more miserable you become because there is no bounds to the artificial needs.

We came from a lower middle-class family. Almost everyone in our neighbourhood had "enough" to have two meals a day and send children to low-cost schools. That is it. Nothing more. But there was happiness around! Families and kids met everyday. I still remember women from near-by households use to gather at our home every afternoon after lunch just for meeting/talking etc for 2-3 hrs! And the families use to hit bed 8:30pm-9:00pm everday (no late night TV). We use to have, as kids, very limited options for chocolates, ice-creams, clothes etc. Not that we could afford it. (btw, that I ice-cream part, in today's marketing speak it was "organic" and home made; that shows what type of progress humanity has made!) People in the neighbourhood use to form groups to buy groceries so that we could bulk-buy as it use to reduce the cost. Celebrate everthing together, like once in a year "full moon sweet milk party" called "Kojaagiri", or ice-cream party where the whole neighbourhood use to contribute funds and make our own ice-cream so that it is affordable.

As one becomes affluent, the community spirit dies. People get more into silos. My parents had hard time adjusting to that change. When my parents moved in with me after my Dad's retirement, I was living in a "gated community of 'comfortable living' people" with swimming pools, private gym, sauna etc. But there was serious lack of connection between people. People rarely knew who was their neighbour. When my parents arrived, they became instantly well-known! Out of old-habit my Mom use to ask me to give neighbours what we cooked for lunch as a gesture of sharing, and my Dad use to go do small DIY tasks for neighbours to help them :) They made so many friends(young and old).

Things have changed a lot now as societies have become "modern". No one has time for even their own, let alone their neighbour.

> Now, I get distracted by so many new things coming up. Each new venue or event brings up a new opportunity. I am in my mid 20s and planning to get married. So, I have to invest in future like Mutual funds, stocks etc. I have to think about buying a house in next 10 years as the real estate prices are going up. I have a decent paying job but I have a fear that it will not be be enough for my retirement. So, I have either invest in opportunities like NFTs, cyrptocurrency, real estate etc. or start working on my own startup. I wanted to learn a lot of things but keep getting distracted.

This is same for every generation. This is not peculiar to any one generation. When a person decides to start a family, s/he has lot of thoughts flowing through the mind because it is a huge undertaking and responsibility.

> So, how can I get boring once again? Boringly passionate about what I want to do. Is there any stream where I can work in and feel safe about it? Or Is it even possible for the remanants of Industrial Age to work in boringly passionate way as this doesn't suit work style of information age?

Start by reverting to budget phone(you won't be alone in this endeavour; just search for "phone detox"). And mark some part of your day for cooking your own meal and going for a walk. Try few pranayams everday. And try to sleep early and wakeup early.

This ancient day routine helps a lot, both for mental and physical health:

0. Wake up early in the morning and do light exercise and pranayams.

1. Cook your own meal.

2. Have your "lunch" before 7:00am in the morning. This should be your biggest meal of the day.

3. Through out the day drink lot of water (2.5-3 lts).

4. Through out the day eat only dry-fruits and fruits, when hungry.

5. Walk as much as possible. Try to avoid taking any transport, if possible.

6. Take light dinner before 5:00pm.

7. Go for a light evening walk.

8. Listen to light music.

9. Massage your head and do pranayams before hitting bed by 8:00pm.

10. Try to eat as much "light on digestive system" food as possible i.e. fruity-vegetables, fruits, light pulses etc. Avoid the so called "exotic" food.

Try this and in few months you will realise that you have more time in a day for extra activity(both physical and mental, like deep thinking)

[kyawzazaw]

You need /r/bogleheads

[Sevii]

Turn your internet router off.