[clarle]

I think as a parent it's also important to set the standard for your kids by doing the same thing. If they need to charge their phones overnight in the kitchen, then you should do the same too.

I think leading by example is a good parenting technique in general, kids figure out when their parents are being hypocritical pretty fast.

[chmod600]

When a child asks for X, they are not really asking for X. They are asking for X, and for you to deal with any consequences of that action, regardless of how poorly-executed. When you do X you are also dealing with the consequences, so it's really no concern of theirs.

Mentioning that a parent gets to do X while they do not is just a way for a child to score a point against foolish parents in an argument.

You are right to a degree. Clearly a parent can lose credibility by being too hypocritical. But you shouldn't feel any general obligation to treat children as adults or yourself as a child.

[justnotworthit]

People will misinterpret you, but if something is bad for you at any age, then the parent should be taking their own advice. "If you can't do it with self-control, then don't do it, or find a way to make it work..." applies to everyone, regardless of roles. No, you don't have to wear pajamas and sleep the same times they do, but you cant tell them how healthy it is to get a full night's sleep with the screen down if you're (frivously) harming your own sleep.

[irrational]

>then you should do the same too.

No. My phone is my alarm system. It is what wakes me up at 5:20am every morning to start things going. My wife uses hers for white noise.

[andruby]

That’s easy to fix with a $15 alarm clock.

[irrational]

My phone has this super quiet noise that is so calming and doesn't wake up the wife when it goes off. It is such a soothing way to wake up. That $15 alarm clock? That's a klaxon alarm letting you know that Armageddon has started.

[syntheticnature]

My alarm clock, purchased as an undergraduate in the 90s, has never had any bugs in its alarm or clock functionalities, and comes with (red 7-segment LED) digit display that's larger than my phone. I do think it was more than $15, even back then, but it's lasted a long time.

[sophacles]

Or you know... $1 at a garage sale or goodwill.

[cyberbanjo]

Goodwill isn't cheap for stuff like that any more

[nomel]

After I realized I could buy, brand new, many of the items I was looking for for a couple dollars more, and sometimes a couple dollars less (they left the original price tag), I mostly stopped going. I went back in for the first time in a couple years and it was just ridiculous. I have to assume their real purpose is some sort of tax benefit at this point, because none of it made sense, besides the clothes.

[Firmwarrior]

Last time I went to Goodwill, they had a bunch of 20 year old gamepads with the joysticks chewed off for $60 each

I guess they decided to err on the side of not selling things rather than risk giving away a good deal

[justbaker]

I’ve seen cheaply made kids toys for exactly what they cost brand new. Goodwill has been going downhill. I’ve seen on numerous occasions employees breaking fragile items on drop off, no regard. I might as well trash them that give them to someone else to do the same.

[khedoros1]

About $4 at the thrifts near me, and at one in particular, that's likely to be half-price on specific days of the week.

[watwut]

O would rather model not wasting money unnecessary

[andruby]

Is spending $15 on an alarm clock wasting money? That thing will probably last a decade or two and outlive a couple of phone generations.

You’ll get to lead by example and perhaps even improve your sleep.

[ohyoutravel]

Buying a second thing to unnecessarily duplicate functionality seems like a waste, even if the thing by itself would otherwise be a solid deal.

[kelnos]

That depends on whether or not you'd consider "setting an example for your kids" in this particular way as necessary or not. If you think that's valuable, then this isn't an unnecessary duplicate. If not, then sure.

[hypertele-Xii]

As opposed to a fancy gizmo that does everything but has to be replaced every three years due to lack of support?

[watwut]

Yes it is wanting money. Especially since I already own multiple device capable to do exact same thing.

I prefer to set example of not buying all the available crap. That one is more important all I all.

[aprinsen]

This has really got me thinking about the hidden costs of having one high tech device that does everything.

Like, I wonder if someone is running ML models on all of our sleeping habits based on phone alarms. Would be interesting to get some of the telemetry/tracking output from the clocks app.

[throw3838]

Or just install opensource ROM without this stuff.

[danieljacksonno]

I use my apple watch for this.

That said, you can easily buy a simple analog alarm for a few bucks.

[saagarjha]

Ok, but why shouldn’t your kids be able to also use them in similar ways?

[stjohnswarts]

Because kids lack almost all control when it comes to entertainment and talking to friends and their brains aren't fully formed. I have a screen time timer set for my phone. After 1 hour each day I don't use it for anything fun after that hour is up. My kids aren't going to be able to handle that with personal discipline. Before you ask, yeah I've tried, the only way is to force them to surrender their devices at a reasonable time at night like 8pm.

[saagarjha]

So it sounds like you gave them an opportunity to use their devices productively, and they couldn't, so they don't get to use your phone. Had you not been able to do that, your screen time would kick in and do the same to you. Seems reasonable to me?

[stjohnswarts]

I did, I watched very closely (and took estimated times) for a couple weeks and they were obsessed a couple years back. All they wanted to do was be on the phone or switch. If you close some doors then other doors will open up. Board games, actually sitting down and telling their day to me (and their mom), playing with the cats and dog. Etc. I give them a lot of freedom until around 8, everyone needs personal time that they own, including kids, then it's back to business of being a family and homework.

[brnt]

You are aware impulse control is something that takes a decade or two (or more) to acquire? Most kids simply can't use them just in those similar ways.

[amflare]

Because they are children. They get to have fewer responsibilities in return for having fewer freedoms while they grow up and gain experience.

[saagarjha]

I know if I was a child, I would be upset that you get to take your phone into your bedroom and use it for useful things. I understand that this is OK for some parents, but the whole point of the comment above the one I was responding to was that children react positively to consistent applications of the rules, and the comment was basically "I have valid uses for my devices (but this is not true for my children)".

[PathOfEclipse]

It's not that you have valid uses for your devices. It's that you trust yourself with the self-control to not to use the devices improperly or in ways that could be self-harmful, or, if so, to be able to bear the consequences. Adults can also drive, but children can't. There is no inconsistency there, either.

Writing as a parent who has had to deal with children staying up late at night, way after they should be sleeping, and looking up things on devices that I would consider inappropriate for both children and adults.

[dijonman2]

> It's that you trust yourself with the self-control to not to use the devices improperly or in ways that could be self-harmful, or, if so, to be able to bear the consequences.

This sounds like something an addict would say. Not calling you out as an individual but instead highlighting the dangers of “I can stop anytime I want”.

[moistly]

Were you upset that your parents got to drink booze and you didn’t? That they got to watch nighttime (e.g. adult) TV? Drive the car? Stay up late? Have sex?

Adults have myriad privileges that children do not. It is not unfair.

[onli]

Of course that's unfair. Always has been.

[nickpeterson]

I think you’re inadvertently propping up another idea, that all rules apply equally to children and adults. This is obviously not true.

[irrational]

Were you upset that your parents could drive the car and you couldn't? Parents and children are not the same and do not abide by the same rules.

[irrational]

Because, when it's my bed time, I go to bed. I know that I have responsibilities that require me to get a full nights sleep. The kids? It doesn't matter if they know that they have to diffuse a nuclear bomb in the morning. They will stay up all night on their devices if given the chance and then let the world burn. Their brains are not ready yet. That is why they have parents.

[stjohnswarts]

Kids need to learn that we all have roles to play, not everything is egalitarian.

Edit: for the downvoters, you're the problem with the education system and parenting, your kids aren't little adults, they need some guidance and boundaries to learn a bit of self-control.