I'd recommend checking out some of the "smart relay" devices that let you reuse your existing light switches.
e.g. https://www.amazon.com/Compatible-SmartThings-Philips-ZBBrid... - this one says "2 way" but I'm pretty sure you can wire it up with two physical lightswitches to get the 3-way behavior that you're after. The wiring diagram on the amazon product page suggests as much.
For multi-way switches what I’ve usually done is wire one switch to the actual load (light) and a relay, and the other switches I pass the wire through as though the switch isn’t connected to the load and then use MQTT to provide the appropriate action. Probably not ideal, but it works and avoids sourcing specific relays and switches.